EVERY MOTHER’S DREAM: GIVE YOUR CHILD MEANING!

Date: May 13, 1990

Location: Believers Fellowship, West Chester, PA

What do you dream for your child?

What are your expectations of your children?

What do your parents expect of you?

What are some things that you have dreamed about doing?

These are popular questions, they affect us.

What your parents expect of you affects your life, your decisions.

What you dream what you desire, what you hope to accomplish in life effects your direction and well-being.

Eccl. 1:14 ; “I have seen all things that are done under the sun, all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Do you believe this?

Picture a man up on a hill chasing after gusts of wind trying to capture it … first it seems playful and fun but as life goes on and this man is chasing the wind throughout all his life – what a tragedy!

This man has spent his life with no purpose, no meaning, no hope.

Mother’s – you have a responsibility to teach your child not to chase after the wind!  (father’s too!)

1. LET’S LOOK CLOSER AT THE BOOK OF ECCLESIASTES AND SEE THIS REAL-LIFE SCENARIO IN THE LIFE OF SOLOMON:

Chapter one:

Eccl 1:1-11 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: ² “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” ³ What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? ⁴ Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever. ⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises. ⁶ The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. ⁷ All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. ⁸ All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. ⁹ What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. ¹⁰ Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time. ¹¹ There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.

V.1-11 everything is meaningless!     everything is without significance!

Eccl 1:12-18 ¹² I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. ¹³ I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! ¹⁴ I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. ¹⁵ What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted. ¹⁶ I thought to myself, “Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” ¹⁷ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. ¹⁸ For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

V. 12 – 18 Wisdom is meaningless what kind of wisdom?

Certainly not the wisdom we find in the book of Proverbs!  That’s God’s wisdom!

There are two kinds of wisdom –

James 3:13-18  ¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. ¹⁵ Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. ¹⁶ For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. ¹⁷ But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸ Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

World’s wisdom – earthly, unspiritual, demonic, it causes envy, selfish ambition, disorder and evil practices.

God’s wisdom – pure, peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

You can’t chase after God’s wisdom – it becomes folly! Meaningless

Chapter two

Eccl 2:1-8 I thought in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. ² “Laughter,” I said, “is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?” ³ I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.

⁴ I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. ⁵ I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. ⁶ I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. ⁷ I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. ⁸ I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well—the delights of the heart of man.

V.1-8 Pleasures are meaningless.

“Are we having fun yet?”

Eccl 2:9-16  ⁹ I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me. ¹⁰ I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. ¹¹ Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. ¹²        Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom, and also madness and folly. What more can the king’s successor do than what has already been done? ¹³ I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness. ¹⁴ The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both. ¹⁵ Then I thought in my heart, “The fate of the fool will overtake me also. What then do I gain by being wise?” I said in my heart, “This too is meaningless.” ¹⁶ For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered; in days to come both will be forgotten. Like the fool, the wise man too must die!

V. 9-16  Success is meaningless.

There have been many who have achieved success and ended up destroyed by drug addiction and moral collapse.

There is the story of a minister who had everything he wanted. 

– A large church, one that needed him and used him well.  It was a place of security and financial blessing.  It couldn’t have planned it more picture perfect.  He had worked hard to get to where he was and he had worked hard to get to the pinnacle of success even in the eyes of his community.

Yet he was suffering from anxiety attacks, he regularly took tranquilizers to help him make it through the worships service, and he went through the week on “cruise control”.

Eccl 2:17-26  ¹⁷ So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. ¹⁸ I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. ¹⁹ And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. ²⁰ So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. ²¹ For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. ²² What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? ²³ All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

²⁴ A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, ²⁵ for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? ²⁶ To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

V.17-26   Work is meaningless.

What does it count for?

Usually if you look for meaning in your work it produces ulcers, high blood pressure, stress and nervous disorders!

Chapter three

Eccl 3:18-22  ¹⁸ I also thought, “As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. ¹⁹ Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. ²⁰ All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. ²¹ Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?” ²² So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

V.18-22 – No meaning except things as they are and just make the most of life!

Chapter four –

Eccl 4:1-3 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter. ² And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. ³ But better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.

V. 1-3 To even be born is meaningless!

It’s better not to even be alive – aborted!

Eccl 4:4-6  ⁴ And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. ⁵ The fool folds his hands and ruins himself. ⁶ Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

V. 4-6 There is no meaning to keeping up with the Jones’s

Eccl 4:7-12 ⁷ Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: ⁸ There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless— a miserable business! ⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: ¹⁰ If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? ¹² Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

V. 7-12   Being alone is meaningless.

Article – In newspaper on career moms …

Eccl 4:13-16 ¹³ Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning. ¹⁴ The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. ¹⁵ I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king’s successor. ¹⁶ There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

V. 13-16 – Advancement is meaningless!

Chapter five:

Eccl 5:1-7 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. ² Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. ³ As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. ⁴ When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. ⁵ It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. ⁶ Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? ⁷ Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.

V.1-7 Dreaming and talking about your dreams is meaningless!

Eccl 5:8-17   ⁸ If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. ⁹ The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields. ¹⁰ Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. ¹¹ As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them? ¹² The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep. ¹³ I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owner, ¹⁴ or wealth lost through some misfortune, so that when he has a son there is nothing left for him. ¹⁵ Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand. ¹⁶ This too is a grievous evil: As a man comes, so he departs, and what does he gain, since he toils for the wind? ¹⁷ All his days he eats in darkness, with great frustration, affliction and anger.

Eccl 5:18-6:6  ¹⁸ Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. ¹⁹ Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. ²⁰ He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

6    I have seen another evil under the sun, and it weighs heavily on men: ² God gives a man wealth, possessions and honor, so that he lacks nothing his heart desires, but God does not enable him to enjoy them, and a stranger enjoys them instead. This is meaningless, a grievous evil. ³ A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he. ⁴ It comes without meaning, it departs in darkness, and in darkness its name is shrouded. ⁵ Though it never saw the sun or knew anything, it has more rest than does that man— ⁶ even if he lives a thousand years twice over but fails to enjoy his prosperity. Do not all go to the same place?

V. 18 – 6:6 – Better to be aborted than to be able to enjoy wealth!

It doesn’t matter what you do, dream desire, expect everything under the sun is meaningless and is just chasing the wind!

1. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE REACHED A STATE OF MEANINGLESSNESS?

What are some signs of an individual who is struggling with the conclusion that everything under the sun is meaningless?

1. Boredom -I’ve tried everything, what do I do now?

Boredom will cause us to search for excitement – what we will find is destruction!

• Anxiety – worry to the point of panic.  A sense that your life is out of control and there is nothing you can do about it.

• A thirst for something more – this will lead you to perversion and excessive behavior.

• Dependence – always going to others to point them to the area of life that will satisfy the need for meaning.

• Irresponsibility – if i have no meaning what does it matter?

I have no real responsibility!

• Lack of goals – all is futile, I’ll just vegetate till I die!

• Depression – no motivation in life to the point that it interrupts your daily routine and activities.

• Addiction – you need something to ease the pain of meaninglessness.

• Aggression – if I can’t be happy – neither can the world!

Meaninglessness is throughout our society.

Never have we had more depressed, addicted and violent society than we have now.

Public health service –

• 10% of America suffers from a identifiable depressive disorder.
• Over 10 million Americans are alcoholics.
• Leading cause of death between 16 – 25 is alcohol related car accidents.
• 33 million Americans over 12 have used illegal drugs.
• 25% of all homes were touched by crime in 1985, usually between family and friends.
• 1/3 of all violent crimes are done by friends or family.
• Between 1958 and 1982 587,821 people committed suicide, which is an average of 23,500 per year. According to the National Institute of health the average is now over 75,000 per year.
• Suicide is the second leading cause of death in males between 25 & 45.
• More Vietnam veterans have died from suicide than from the war!

We live in troubled times!

A society that is without meaning!

1. WHAT ARE THE FACTORS WHICH CONTRIBUTE TO THE MEANINGLESSNESS IN PEOPLES LIVES?

(From statistical surveys and clinical reports)

1. Choosing money over meaning – in 1967 over 83 % of all students chose “develop a  meaningful life” as their primary goal in life.  In 1984 this answer was chosen by 47%; 43% chose being well off financially as their primary goal in life.

• Lack of purpose – Nothing to live for, the pain is not worth it.  “A child may fall down and skin his knee, but when the fun starts again the pain vanishes.”

• Affluence – If anything should help, money should!

• Fear of nuclear annihilation – eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!

• Pursuit of happiness – but we never get there.

• No clear definition of sin – right and wrong. The power of sin is not recognized.

• No sense of gratitude but, you owe me.

1. SO, WHAT DO WE DO?

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14  ¹³  Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. ¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

We have a duty – service, to fear God and obey him.

Unless we do this we are only chasing the wind.

Do you want to catch the wind?

Do you want your children to catch the wind?

We need to go to the center of the problem – sin.

As we address the sin problem in our lives or our children’s lives they will encounter a wind that they will never have to chase!

The Holy Spirit!  Wind from heaven

The cure for a meaningless life is a life that is in the Spirit!

Surrendered to God!  Under the lordship of Jesus Christ!

When you feel that your life is lacking in meaning – you are lacking in relationship with God and under the lordship of Jesus!

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is (or where the Spirit is Lord) there is liberty!” 2 Cor 3:17

II Cor 4:16-5:9  ¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

5    Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵ Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. ⁶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷ We live by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹ So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it

 v.16 Wasting away – meaningless

v.18 What do we see? – We see what is under the sun!  Which is temporary!

What we see in the Spirit is eternal and full of meaning!

5:5 Our purpose …. Vessels of his Spirit!

We need to fear God more than anything this life can hand us!

We need to understand that we are totally dependent on God!

John 15:1-5  ¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

v. 1 – 2 What is the relationship of the vine to the gardener?

He trims off all that is meaningless!

Everything in our life that has no meaning, he prunes it out!

v. 3 This is done through his Word – you know what has meaning and purpose by God’s Word!

v. 4 You must remain in Jesus to bear fruit, or to remain meaningful!

How do you remain in Jesus?

 v.7 – His words will remain in you – you will be a doer of God’s Word!

v.5  See him as the vine, you as the branch.

Without that continual relationship you will be fruitless – meaningless.

All that you do apart from his Word and his purpose is nothing – worthless, meaningless without

 purpose!

• HOW DO YOU PREVENT MEANINGLESS FROM COMING INTO YOUR LIFE?

As a mother

A father

A child

What do you have to teach your children?

Yes to fear God and obey him – but how?

Realize that sin has produced to main problems in the world:

Lack of meaning in life and misery in life.

The gospel solves both of those problems:

Luke 4:18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Phil 2:5 – “your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

Why are you here?

What is your purpose?

Is there something you are supposed to do?

Be a servant!

Those without meaning serve those with misery and the gospel is fleshed out in the world!

Unless we become like God we will always feel meaningless, and if you try to be like God without fearing him you will destroy yourself!

That is why we must fear him (know who we are in relationship to who he is and be at awe of your observation)

And obey him (if we obey him, we will be like him)

To parents:

Are you teaching your children so that they have purpose and meaning?

Do you teach them to be servants?

Or do you serve them?

If you serve them, they will grow up without meaning.

• THINGS A PARENT CAN DO TO ESTABLISH PURPOSE IN THE LIFE OF THEIR CHILD:

1. Give them a job to do every day that helps someone else. Learn to be a servant.

By the time a child reaches teen years they should be able to do everything in the home you do.

• Teach them that your relationship as husband and wife comes first and they are second.

This shows them that the world does not center around them, but in their homelife it is around mom & dad.

In the same way our lives do not center around what we can get from God, but what God wants from us!

• Teach them to finish what they start – faithfulness.

This is a character trait of God!

• Teach them that obedience is not an option – be consistent in your discipline.  This will prepare them to obey God.

• Father’s never allow your children to show disrespect in any degree towards your wife.

This will teach them how to respect of fear God when they are older.

• Teach them the Word of God, by reading and doing.

• Teach them to be still and listen, this will help them to learn from God and hear him.  If a child cannot be controlled when they are 2-3 they will never be controlled!

• Never justify their sinful behavior due to circumstance (tired, young, like their father, brother etc).

Without an awareness of sin, there will be no repentance.

Justification only comes through repentance and forgiveness – not understanding!

Let them constantly be reminded of a need for a Savior and Lord!

What about you – do you have meaning – or are you stuck somewhere in Ecclesiastes?

It’s time to surrender to the Spirit led life and fear God and obey him!

Amen!